Monday, May 13, 2013
Often we don't appreciate the phase we are in, when we are in it. A lesson learned from a stranger, hits home.
When the boys were babies, old men and women would "ooh" and "ahh" over the handlebar of the stroller at my angelic sleeping child and say “they grow up so fast” a million times. I’d kindly nod my head and smile, exhausted from lack of sleep and counting down the days to the monthly Moms Night Out when I could drink way too much and pretend I was 25 again—of course paying for that decision for hours the next day. At the doctor’s office, I was having small talk with a nurse and inevitably the conversation comes to children—"Do you have any? How many? What are their ages?" I shared my sons’ ages and she immediately gets a nostalgia look in her eye, “Oh that’s such a wonderful age. Legos, Star Wars…Oh, I just love that age.” I nodded my head…
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Kids on the Autism Spectrum each have unique gifts—I think I found one of my son's.
When you have a child of the Autism Spectrum it’s hard to avoid becoming consumed by comparing your child with typically developing children. IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meetings don’t help, you sit around a table with professionals working with your child on a daily basis at school and discuss the ways in which your child is developing and meeting goals for his age, almost all of his goals are goals that come naturally for other children. For example one of the goals on my son’s IEP is to have a back and forth conversation with a peer without prompting. That doesn’t seem like much, I know, but recently when my son, L, had a friend over and I heard them playing in his room I stood out of eyesight to count how many times they had a …
Thursday, February 7, 2013
What is a biking family to do when not all of our members are able to ride?
Milestones that are met by our children are documented and recorded—our child’s pediatrician informs us of when those milestones typically happen based on recorded data that coincides with a particular age. Baby should be rolling over at six months old, walking at around one, at three years old should be able to speak in multi-word sentences and by four years old should ride a tricycle. Every parent has expectations of their children crossing milestones around the same age that they themselves crossed that milestone. Walking. Talking. Loosing teeth. Grandparents are called to confirm, “Do you remember when I lost my first tooth?” I grew up in a bicycling family; our family would go on week long bicycling trips while other families went to…
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Siblings being told to stick together might force them apart—or it might be the bond that keeps them together.
Growing up my mom would often tell my sister and I to "watch out for each other". When the two of us were on our own, without her parent supervision, she would enforce this rule for us to stick together. As children going to a sleepover at my cousin’s house these were the words she would say as we opened the car doors, it continued into our preteen and teen years when she would drop us off at the mall to hang out with friends or go to a party. I’m sure if you psychoanalyzed the situation it had a lot to do with her own upbringing, my mom and her sister often had to count on each other during their not so grand childhood. Or maybe it was because we grew up in a rough neighborhood, full of boys who sadly saw the back of a police car …
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
The Walters Art Museum is a great place for families.
For parents with kids on the Autism Spectrum, there are many experiences that we have to miss out on due to large, loud crowds. Children on the Autism Spectrum can be over stimulated easily and being put in an environment with a lot of people can lead the child to having a meltdown. My oldest son is on the spectrum and though the meltdowns have become fewer as he’s gotten older, instead over stimulating environments effect his attitude. He becomes “snippy”, short tempered, quick to argue with his brother in other words not pleasant to be around for the rest of the day. We don’t take advantage of the museums in DC as much as we should mainly because of the crowds. Recently we discovered a hidden gem in Baltimore, The Walters Art Museum. …
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Don’t underestimate the smallest seed for it is filled with great courage.
On a beautiful fall day, I notice a group of children discover a dead squirrel lying in a parking space on the side of the road. I've seen these children playing together on the corner playground after school each day, their age’s range from kindergarten to third grade. At first they stand around the squirrel talking about it, staring intently. By the looks on almost all of their faces, it seems this is the first time that any of them had seen something dead, in real life. I am mesmerized by the children and stand back from the group wanting to see for myself how this is going to play out. It seems somewhat like observing a social experiment. The children stand on the curb by the side of the road, knowing if they step foot off the curb …
Thursday, November 8, 2012
How the acceptance of same-sex marriage in the state of Maryland changes our lives.
Blaring from the television set the election results are announced, my wife and I are curled up in our bed with iPhones and laptops frantically refreshing the four webpages that we are watching for results. The difference between us and almost every other household in America—we aren’t waiting to hear who is going to become the next president but to hear the outcome of Question 6. At some point I realize that I’ve been clenching my jaw for 15 minutes. Facebook and Twitter are on fire once President Obama is projected to win, we are still refreshing webpages. Waiting. Hearts racing. Trying to remain positive but as the numbers continue to fluctuate between 1 and 3 percent our spirits begin to deflate and worry begins to creep into the …
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Question 6 might not be a big deal for you but it's a HUGE deal for our family.
“Mommy what is this… vote for Question 6?” my youngest says to me on our way out of the door to school. “Um, it’s a yard sign. Come on we are running late. Get your book bag.” “But what does it mean? What is Question 6?” he asks with urgency. I pause. It seems like every important conversation happens when we are rushing out the door or driving and I can’t focus. This time I stop in my tracks because I realize in this moment that school can wait; this is an important conversation for our family. It deserves my full attention. “You know how when you take a test, there are a bunch of questions?” He nods, his eyes are on me, and he’s paying full attention. I take a deep breath unsure of how exactly I’m going to explain this, and in a split …
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Looking back on your life of parenting, what do you wish someone had told you? I wish I would have listen to that old lady in the grocery—it really does go by fast.
One of my dear friends just had a baby, her fourth. She’s an experienced mom who has gone through the trials of motherhood. She knows the sleepless nights, has mastered nursing in public, and she already knows how to use one hand to feed herself while nursing her baby and correcting an older child’s homework at the same time. None of this is new for her. In a way though, it is. This time the bundle of love lying in her arms is a boy! As an (ahem) experienced mom to two boys, I have this urge to fill her with advice. I had to stifle myself when I was at her house for a visit to meet the new little one. I wanted to shower her with my words of wisdom, an avalanche on her tired brain. I grew up in a family of girls; I’m the youngest of five…
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
I'm teaching my children that it’s OK to grieve the loss of a loved one. Instead of sheltering them from my sadness, I’m welcoming them into it.
We are coming up on the one-year anniversary of the death of a dear friend of mine. I met Monte in college. He was flamboyant and loud and, as a freshman away from home, I was both terrified and fascinated by him. He had a voice like a gospel angel and wasn’t afraid of conducting a public performance, wherever that might be: Walgreens, a bar or restaurant or randomly in the middle of the sidewalk in New York City where we both went to live after college. When his spirit was moved to song… he sang! Monte struggled with cancer and died too young at 39 years old. I've been thinking about Monte a lot lately, I’ve been having dreams about him and I know it’s because the anniversary of him dying is only days away. Randomly, when I see someone …
Gretchen Schock
8:31 am on Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Brunchbird- No I'm not passing judgement at all! For kids who enjoy sports and want to do it I think it's great that they have that outlet. My children are not interested at all and I don't enjoy the pressure from other parents to push my sons to try it. Making it seem as if my sons will not be as well rounded without team sports. This is also an issue of gender. I doubt if my children were girls… more ›