First Few weeks

(Written February 2011)

So! It’s been over a week since I’ve arrived here in Beijing and so much has happened! Let me just start by saying: to all of you who had faith in my alleged ability to adjust, tolerate, and acclimate gracefully into a different environment, you were tragically wrong. I was a stereotypical American; a straight up diva the first few days of my trip. And quite honestly, I’m still brushing the glitter off my shoulders…

We had our official International Student orientation into the Campus this morning. It was nothing but a pile of opening remarks and best wishes from the faculty and a long lecture on obeying the law from the local police chief. The orientation's one redeeming point, however, was a speech from a professor from the psychology department. She had about 12 slides about how to best acclimate into our new surroundings, how to raise our motivation and courage for class, and lower our expectations for our standard of living (I kid you not).

What I liked the best about her speech was what she called "The Four Phases of the International Student." The first is the "honeymoon" stage, where the international student, freshly arrived from the airport, is in awe and fascination of their new surroundings and charmed by the vast cultural differences. The second stage is the "resentment" stage, where the "vast cultural differences" become less charming and the "language gap" becomes more like a language black hole. In this stage, the international student rejects host culture and tends towards things that are more familiar to them (like McDonalds*?) The third stage is the "recovery" stage. Here, the international student begins to learn more of the language, practices outside of school, and begins to identify and feel comfort with host culture. Native food looks less repulsive and all the burping and spitting more like sighs and hopes for the future (will be explained later). The fourth and last stage, the "settling" stage, occurs right as the international student begins to feel at home in host country. Ironically coincides with the very end of the academic semester. I am now currently experiencing my own form of the "honeymoon" phase, as will be explained throughout. Trust me, this will all make sense once you read the post. I know its a long one, but bear with me- its worth it.

Let’s go back to the very beginning, shall we? Chris dropped me off at the airport around 7 a.m. Saturday morning and we managed to part ways with minimal tears (although they were completely one-sided. And by one-sided I mean they were mine. All mine.) Flight to Canada was fine, but the fact that I got fidgety on a mere hour and a half flight should have been a good indicator that my 13-hour flight to China would be less than enjoyable.  It was actually in the airport in Toronto that I got my first taste of Chinese civil society. My classmates and I are just sitting in the terminal, minding our own business, when I see a gentleman of the Asian persuasion casually walking up and down the rows of people. As he passes by, he farts, and keeps walking like nothing happened. He just flat out lets one rip in the middle of a group of people. Again, a good indicator of what was to come.

When I confirmed my flight, I though I had strategically picked my seat to where I was in a first row of a section of the plane so that I had a little more leg room than the other poor schlubs behind me. Canada Air was like "syke!" and put me in the middle section, sandwiched between an extremely flatulent Asian man and some other guy. I swear when the EFA moved an inch in any direction, he unearthed seven different kinds of zoo smells strong enough to singe the hair from your nostrils.  My knees cramped up four hours into the trip BUT… I only got up once to pee (my new personal record). Another plus was that the air staff fed us literally every two hours, and we all know how I feel about being fed.

Upon arrival to Beijing, we were greeted by an extremely vivacious Tsing Hua University student group and their extremely annoying TEAN group leader (I’ll name no names). We were then shuttled to our hotel, a Courtyard Marriot, which was gorgeously fancy even by American standards. Most importantly, it had a gym and a free continental breakfast.  The next morning, we were enlightened on the next few days’ group activities, which included a tour of the Forbidden City that day and a trip to the Great Wall the next. Seeing as it's WINTER outside and all, I was a little hesitant to embark on these carefully planned, stereotypically tourist activities, but I decided to do what everybody has been telling me to do, and remained open to the opportunity.

False. We basically spent four hours walking around in the snow and freezing cold looking at 23897423847289472 identical buildings that, although gorgeous and historically significant, had substance that required maybe an hour's worth of touring. AND (and this is my fault I know, but you weren’t there so you don’t know) I wasn’t properly dressed (as per usual) and obviously miserable. I vowed then and there, that group activities were a huge NO. On top of that, our trip to the Great Wall the next day was supposed to start with checking out of the nice western hotel (but whhyyyy!!?) embarking on a 6 mile hike in the STILL freezing cold winter weather, staying overnight in a nearby village without running water, heat, toilets, or real mattresses (I for reals kid you not), and finishing it off with a hike BACK up the wall at 5:30 a.m. so that we could “experience the sunrise.” No. No way. I nearly passed just thinking of the discomfort and agony I would withstand. I was sure it was going to be another “Yeah, I went to the Great Wall, and after 5 mintutes, I was like ‘let’s go’,” deal so I spared myself the heartache and made up my mind not to go. Thank god for the only other sane minded person in my group, Rebekah. When we got back to the hotel, we immediately booked our room for an additional night. OH, and I didn’t even tell you the best part. We went out to a group dinner that night at this place “famous” for its Peking Duck. The restaurant was a hole in the wall at the end of a labyrinth of seedy alleyways behind a new shopping center. It was, like most restaurants in Beijing, moderately to severely dirty and without a bathroom. Let me digress for a second and enlighten you all on the b-room situation here in Beijing.  Ah…. They don’t use toilets? Hmmm… you don’t understand, you say? Let me put it to you this way. They use, and actually prefer what I call, “squat toilets,” and are merely holes in the ground (or building floor?) that you have to squat and position yourself in order not to make a mess of your shoes. The Chinese have a running joke on tourists and have strategically placed "four star-rated bathrooms" around the Forbidden City tourist areas, so, you know, we feel like we are being taken care of when we need to use the loo. But don't get your hopes up, they are all squat toilets and yes, they all have pee around their rims.

So then comes Thursday and it's time to officially check out of the hotel room and move into our dorms. While everyone was busy huffing and puffing on the Great Wall, Rebekah and I were busy doing some recon on campus. Yeah, thats right, I checked out my dorm before anyone else did and let me tell you what, it was bad. Scary even. The thing was smaller than my room at home and was meant to house two people. It had literally no storage space and zero sunlight coming from the window ( even though it was 1 p.m. when we checked the place out). I was like no thanks. After 36 hours of stress, sweat, and tears, Rebekah was able to pull a few strings and get me into her dorm across campus. Now we each have our own room, western-style bathroom (no squatty!) and relatively large couch sitting and tv-watching area. I'm kinda living the life.

Don't believe what anyone tells you- Chinese-Chinese food is no different from American-Chinese food. It's oily, saucey, gloopy, and way too saltysweetspicysmokey. If that makes any sense. So, needless to say, my first meal on campus was McDonald's. So was my second meal. My third meal? Chicken sandwich from the American Bistro down the street. Fourth meal? Subway. Too bad we don't have access to any the gyms on campus.

A few days ago, some friends and I took a trip to the famous Silk Market. Here, you can find any knockoff of any designer brand out there. I'm talking purses, wallets, gloves, hats, shoes, belts, clothes, you name it. The shops also ask ridiculously high prices for all their ridiculous nonsense, so you are expected to haggle with them to get it down really really low. For instance, they may ask 600 RMB (100 USD) for a fake D&G purse. If you pay anymore than 50 RMB (about 9 USD) for that bag, then you are a fool. Also, if you find a bag you like at a shop but they are not liking your bargaining tactics, move on to the next one- there is guaranteed to be ten other shops with the same knockoff purse dying to have your business. Besides, they only pay like, 2USD for that crap anyway. There are five or six levels, starting in the basement with the bags and "leather" goods and ending with an actual silk market at the top floor. I may or may not have spent about two hours on the basement level alone.

There are a lot of small shopping districts, none of which are very close to my school. Taxi/Bus/Subway fare is so cheap here though, so traveling around is a non-issue. To be perfectly honest, our spoiled butts just cab it everywhere and so far, our highest fare was about 30RMB (about $5 split between 3 people). Ironically enough, however, there are absolutely no nail salons around here. I know what you all are thinking, but I'm serious- there are no Asian nail salons in this enormous Asian country. Bekah and I taxied 20 minutes away to some random shopping center just to get ripped off by some teenage nail girls running a kiosk ( I know...). Whatever, I have my own nail polish, I'll make it work.