Patch Picks: St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick's Day is a holiday that brings together everyone from John Fitzpatrick to Patrick Fitzjohn.  It is one of the few - possibly only - American holidays that celebrates another culture in the only way we know how - through broad, reductive stereotypes. So kiss your blarney stone, capture your leprechaun and other things that sound like euphemisms, because it's time to celebrate St. Paddy's Day! We've got five suggestions in honor of Ireland's five original provinces.

Ulster Province: Do you like dancing, but hate moving your upper body? Come learn traditional Irish step dances like the reel, slip jig, light jig,  single jig, hornpipe, treble jig and treble reel at the Culkin School of Irish Dance in Silver Spring. No, it's not just for kids - the school hosts adult classes, so sign up today and you can be lord of the dance by next St. Patrick's Day.

Connacht Province: Lest you forget, Saint Patrick, Ireland's most famous patron-saint is the reason for the season. Legend has it that Saint Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland, which was a fairly simple job, considering that Ireland has never had a native snake population. That shouldn't stop you from celebrating the legend by driving yourself to the Watkins Nature Center (301 Watkins Park Drive) in Upper Marlboro to learn a little more about our limbless friends.  Though the Center is open all week, they put on an hour-long live animal displays, aimed primarily at younger children, twice every Saturday at 10 a.m. and 1 p.m.

Leinster Province: After decades of famine, political strife and Bono, Ireland has developed a solid tradition of dramatic theatre.  Irish playwright Mark O’Rowe’s Terminus, now being performed at the Clarice Smith Performing Arts Center on the UMd. campus as part of a tour by Ireland’s fabled Abbey Theatre, offers a mind-bending tale of three people ripped from their daily lives and thrown into a nightmare of serial killers, betrayal, incest, murder and other light-hearted fare. As you might imagine, the play is suggested for mature audiences only. 

If you prefer your theatre with less depravity and less cost, you may want to check out Integration: An Evening of Fresh Scenes, a free collection of performances by the University's senior theatre class that all hew closely to a particular theme.

Munster Province: This St. Patrick's Day falls on the same date as the Irish Hurling championships.  While the College Park hurling championships can be witnessed most Saturday nights outside of Cornerstone, the Irish version is something that people are proud of winning. Hurling is a fast-paced sport similar to lacrosse and golf at a full sprint. And it's over 3,000 years old. Forget the NCAA tournament and head to Flanagans Harp and Fiddle (4844 Cordell Ave.) in Bethesda, where you can start watching and enjoying breakfast at 10 a.m. Later that night, a live bagpipe band will play all your favorite gaelic hits.

Kingdom of Mide: Yes, will have green beer.  Yes, will be serving up "Irish Car Bombs." However, College Park residents that have had it up to their shillelaghs with all the Irish fuss might want to consider a cheap Swedish meal.  is offering a deal where diners who buy one stuffed salmon meal ($6.99) can get another hot meal of equal or lesser value for free. The deal is on until Friday, so it could make a healthier day-after-St. Patrick's Day meal than the half eaten slice of pizza you woke up next to.