My children are well behaved, but I don’t notice it as often as I should. L had years of public meltdowns; the meltdowns of a child on the Autism Spectrum are nothing like a meltdown of a nuerotypical child. Trust me on this one. He no longer lies motionless, completely dead weight in the middle of the supermarket aisle. He no longer kicks, arching his back and screaming while trying to put him in the car seat, every single time that we have to go somewhere. Thankfully we have moved past that phase. He’s no angel, and like anyone he has his moments, but with maturity they have become more …

It was a beautiful Sunday morning. Everyone woke up in a happy mood, got dressed and brushed their teeth without one gripe or grumble. We left the house for church on time instead of our usual rush. As we walked to the car, L grabbed my hand and looked up at me as if it was the first time he’d seen me … really seen me that morning.  He looked me directly in the eye and said, “Mommy, I like your clothes and necklace.” My mouth dropped open. Giving another person a compliment — unprompted — has been one of L’s Individualized Education Program (IEP) goals for the past two years. Making eye …

Ten years ago, Sept. 11, 2001, I didn’t have children; I was living in New York City managing an Off-Broadway Theatre. It was my day off, and I was sleeping in. I woke up to the sound of my best friend’s voice leaving a message on my answering machine: “An airplane flew into one of the twin towers. Gretchen, WAKE UP!” I sprang out of bed not knowing if I was awake or if this was a dream. I remember the sound of my bare feet hitting the hardwood floor as I ran to my fire escape, where I had a clear view of the twin towers. All I could see was smoke. I grabbed my camera — the only thing I owned…

Most kids at some point in their lives have a collection of something: Polly Pocket dolls, Pokémon cards, stamps, and so on. A lot of adults have collections as well. At one point my mom collected little pig figurines that aligned the top of a dresser in her house. (Thank goodness that phase is over!) The difference between neurotypical kids and kids on the Autism Spectrum is that, AS kids tend to be obsessive about their collections. There was a time when L would collect “treasures” on our walks — random things he would find that would interest him. Shiny rocks, a hairclip, bottle tops … …

School has started; we have returned to early bedtimes and homework nightly. Spelling lists and classroom paperwork adorn our refrigerator. My oldest thrives in this structured environment; my youngest would rather have a bit more room to wiggle. This year, for the first time both boys are going to the same school. Thankfully I am able to walk the boys to school each day; we have a routine in place already with morning drop off. On the second day of school we walked in the building together, and I took the boys to the top of the hallway -- our drop off point -- so they can get right in the …

Both of my boys are video game addicts. They are 6 and 8 years old, and I recognize that this behavior is pretty standard for their age. Seasoned parents have warned me that it gets worse, but I'm growing tired of their constant desire to be plugged in. I realize that their generation will be able to text while doing everything else they need to do, including eating and bathing. Texting will be second nature to them. I understand that ... but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I know many parents who aren't setting a good example of unplugging and being present in the moment. I've been …

Backpacks ... check. Lunch boxes ... check. School supplies ... check. As I make my list to get ready for another school year my heart begins to beat a little quicker. Recently I shared my youngest son's concern about taking the leap and meeting new friends. I will admit, I am just as nervous about the beginning of another school year. Especially for L, my oldest son, who is on the Autism Spectrum. It takes him longer to adjust to environments even though he's familiar with the setting since he's been enrolled in this school for four years. The faces will be different as he looks around his …

It’s that time of year; the buzz around everyone’s dining room table is about school starting. In our house we are dealing with a lot of anxiety about that first day. The mere mention of school triggers tears to well up in L's eyes. He’s worried about his teacher ... Will she yell? Will his aide be returning? Will he know anyone in the class? The list goes on and on. Z doesn’t display the same outward anxiety, and instead quietly bows his head and stops talking -- a sure sign that something is abreast because this child never stops talking. He’s changing schools this year and I know he’s …

My youngest son, Z, has spent years sitting in waiting rooms while his brother has speech therapy, behavior therapy or occupational therapy sessions. I’ve always tried to make the wait enjoyable, packing special toys just for him. I've spent countless hours worried that Z would resent his brother. It often feels as though our world revolves around the Autism Spectrum and doing things that L will be able to tolerate or that he will be able to be a part of without feeling inadequate. We don’t often go to loud or crowded places because it's sensory overloud for L; even being outside in the sun …

My hobby is photography; I have a camera on me at all times. I once read a book where the author insisted that you would not get good at something unless you do it everyday and that really spoke to me. So I carry around a camera everywhere I go in hopes of becoming a better photographer. Practice makes perfect, so they say. My youngest son is often asking, “Can I have a turn?” I will admit that most days his request is answered with a hurried, “not now sweetie,"  as I cringe at that thought of allowing his small hands hold my expensive camera. I worry though that if he is interested in …

L was first diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum at around three years old. At that time I would spend several minutes a day holding up flash cards with photos of people expressing an emotion. Angry, mad, sad, embarrassed and confused to name a few. Children on the spectrum often need to be taught social cues and facial expressions. They struggle to understand facial cues that other people rely on to gauge the moods of others. Over the years, L has become better at identifying other people's emotions. He continues to struggle with some but now has the ability to ask the person to clarify. "Are …

What do you want to be when you grow up? What kid hasn't been asked that question? Adults impulsively ask children of their dreams from the moment they can talk. Maybe it’s because so many adults aren’t following their own dreams, or maybe what they wanted to be when they were 4-years-old was ludicrous in terms of financial stability. Last time I checked, fairies didn’t get a 401K plan. My oldest son is on the Autism Spectrum, and when asked the age-old question during his Thomas the Train phase, he would look very serious and answer, “engineer.” My heart would feel relieved because the …

I teach Vinyasa Flow Yoga Classes at the College Park Woods Pool House. Each week while the students lay in savasana, I lead the class into meditation. Monday, I talked about the word gratitude. I stretched my own body into downward dog pose, fingers wide pressing into the mat, and I spoke to the class about having gratitude for being here on our mats each week, gratitude for this moment. “During class when your mind drifts to self doubt and feelings of inadequacy … stop and remind yourself that there are other people who wish they could be here physically on this mat.” Little did I know that…

It's a beautiful Sunday; the sun is shining with not a cloud in the sky. I've planned today to be mellow and laid-back, because Monday begins a new routine of going to camp instead of school. Typically a change in routine – even if it's a fun change in routine – causes my oldest son, who is on the Autism Spectrum, to behave in a heightened anxious or else emotionally sensitive state. I dare say it's been a perfect day. Everyone has gotten along; there haven’t been any arguments. The kids are fastened in their booster seats engaging in idle chitchat about the cars and people around them as we …

I’m recovering from a week of vacation. I have uploaded 488 digital pictures from my camera, the luggage has been unpacked, and I have sand in my washing machine—which I may never be able to get rid of. Thank goodness I am raising my children in the digital age, because I don’t know how I could continue my photography hobby on a budget at the rate in which I take pictures. Four hundred eighty-eight for one week! And I’m struggling with deleting any of them. There are so many that could be deleted, but then I spot a small hint of something. The freckles on Z’s nose that seem to sprout over …

The minivan was packed, not quite to capacity, but packed enough that in order to find something you had to move three things to get to the item. Thankfully that only happened once. This was our first family vacation that required a long car ride. When we lived in Seattle, WA, I would travel to the East Coast to visit family and from experience learned the staples to have on hand for each flight—items to have just in case the layover lasted longer than expected, or if we had technical difficulties that left us motionless on the tarmac. On flights, I always pack extra crackers hidden in my bag…

"You can do whatever you want at this house," my youngest son says to me while dropping Doritos on the grass instead of throwing them away in a near by trashcan. Or disposing them on the plate I am holding. "Excuse me. Who told you that?" I reply. "That kid, he said we can do whatever we want." Z points a finger toward the five-year-old he just met at a friend's cookout. This child is clearly "cool": he's sporting spike and leather bracelets and a Justin Bieber hairdo. Obviously his fashion is influenced by an older tween brother. This kid is a good kid. I know his parents, but together Z and…

Recently I had one of those moments, when as an adult you feel “old” or maybe it’s the first time you confront the realization of how old you actually are. What sparked this? Was it the fact that I have 2 kids in elementary school? Nope. Was it when I sat at the dinner table and didn’t have to cut anyone’s food before my own? No, not that time either.  It was when I attended my cousin’s graduation party. Kevin, also known as “Cuddles”, graduated high school. This is a kid that I remember changing his diaper! I remember when he was a baby and not in that “I’ve looked at pictures so many times …

Driving in the car, the boys are strapped in their booster seats in the middle row of the minivan. We are discussing our plans for the week and enjoying the view of our neighbor's beautiful yards. There is a lull in conversation as we pass one house with kids enjoying a trampoline in their front yard, and I’m half expecting one of my children to begin begging to have one for our yard. But instead I hear… Z in a hushed voice, "Punch me in the face. Come on I won't tell!" L responds, "No, Mom is here. I'll do it later. You're just trying to get me in trouble.” Z, “No I’m not!” Fast forward to …

We spent more time in line for the moon bounce than it actually took for the kids to get through the giant maze of bouncy goodness. After he appeared at the end, L took off running for the front, not realizing that in order to go through it a second time, he would have to stand in the long line again. When I informed him of such, his spirit deflated and immediately tears began to take shape. My partner and I choose festivals based on whether or not they have moon bounces. Festivals are so hard for us to attend as a family; the large crowds are overwhelming for L to deal with. To make things …