Collecting, Counting or Compulsion?

Most kids at some point in their lives have a collection of something: Polly Pocket dolls, Pokémon cards, stamps, and so on. A lot of adults have collections as well. At one point my mom collected little pig figurines that aligned the top of a dresser in her house. (Thank goodness that phase is over!)

The difference between neurotypical kids and kids on the Autism Spectrum is that, AS kids tend to be obsessive about their collections.

There was a time when L would collect “treasures” on our walks — random things he would find that would interest him. Shiny rocks, a hairclip, bottle tops … there never seemed to be any rhyme or reason for what caught his eye.

But God forbid you even think of throwing them away!

Curled on the couch, in a lull between reading stories, I asked my youngest son, Z, “Do you think at some point you would want your own room?”

I am shocked by how fast Z answers with a firm, “No!”

“Why not?”

“I’d be too lonely. I’d miss L. And I can’t sleep without his counting.”

“What do you mean? His counting?” I asked, rather perplexed because this is the first I heard of counting happening after I tuck them in.

“L counts his stickers.”

“Every night?”

He nods his head fiercely, yes.

“Does L count at Daddy’s house too?”

“Uh-huh.”

“What does he count there?”

“All kinds of things … toys in his bed, books, shows we watch … all kinds of things.”

My youngest son is now looking at me and questioning whether he should have told me this information. I tell him that counting stickers is perfectly fine and it’s nice that he enjoys it so much. I’ll admit that I am relieved that he does it in both of his homes.

His body relaxes and we continue reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid.  But my mind is not on the story. My mind is on counting. What else does he count compulsively every day? What would happen if a friend was over and accidentally ripped his poster that holds the cherished sticker collection? Would he all of a sudden not be able to sleep, much like what happened after we lost a favorite toy that he sleeps with every night?

Is this a phase or is the counting a sign of a bigger problem with elements of obsessive-compulsive disorder?

The answers aren't right in front of me and I know from experience that I am just going to have to wait and see. It's the not knowing and the waiting that I struggle with as a parent. I doubt I am alone.