A Special Date with Mommy

My youngest son, Z, has spent years sitting in waiting rooms while his brother has speech therapy, behavior therapy or occupational therapy sessions. I’ve always tried to make the wait enjoyable, packing special toys just for him.

I've spent countless hours worried that Z would resent his brother. It often feels as though our world revolves around the Autism Spectrum and doing things that L will be able to tolerate or that he will be able to be a part of without feeling inadequate.

We don’t often go to loud or crowded places because it's sensory overloud for L; even being outside in the sun for long periods of time takes more effort on L's part than a typical child. This means state fairs, carnivals and concerts are all out of the picture for us as a family.

Now that Z is getting older I have been trying to make more of an effort to do things that only he wants to do -- special dates with Mommy. On these dates we leave the Autism Spectrum umbrella behind. It can be crowded and full of noise, environments we both enjoy.

While L went to a special camp for high functioning autistic kids this summer, Z and I had a week that was devoted to him and what he wanted to do. One of those days we went to Color Me Mine, a pottery studio where you can paint a piece of pottery and then they will glaze and fire it for you. Z loves crafts and I knew this would be a great activity for us.

We spent a few hours painting, talking and laughing. It was incredible to be with just him. I asked him if he ever feels like we only do things that L wants to do. His reply: “Sometimes. But that’s okay. We like a lot of the same stuff anyway.”

My worrying about resentment can take a backseat for now. I know I will be revisiting it in the future, possibly when Z is tall enough to ride roller coasters.